The conditioned part of my self – the part that broke – cannot be resurrectd; it died. And with it died my old wants, needs, desires, hopes, fears. But however newly conditioned I become, the broken part is still htere wanting to draw a bridge between life and death; pulling me into desire and suicidal thought patterns.
I can’t afford to cross that bridge if I want to stay alive.
Staying alive requires letting the broken parts stay broken.
It would be too much to bear were it not for the fact that it’s the ddivine life energy drawing me on like an animated corpse into the land of the resurrected. Like Lazarus with bandages and skin intertwined.
To continue transforming myself and the world I have to continue to trust the process that is bigger than my self. The process wich is life – the consciousness of the cosmos – is the driving force of vitality and joy. I cant manufacture the conditions I seek. Trying to do this only brings pain and suffering to others and to me.
Let go, and trust the process already begun.