After the grave

When all that is left is past pain. When all the real healing and recovery has been achieved, and is a thing of the past and not today. That is when a fresh challenge comes.

The previous challenges; how to cope with today, how to unlearn thought-patterns emergent of a damaged mind, how to let go of negative thoughts, how to choose rational thoughts over irrational ones, are gone. What is left more than anything is then simply choice.

Choice to stay content with things as they are, or choice to use what has been learnt through the expensive and difficult process of dying and finding life, of breaking down, through, and back up.

But to use what has been learnt requires a willingness to go into previously uncharted territory in one’s inner life and in the experience of life in general. To choose to allow new thought patterns to develop. To let go of favourite negative thoughts and allow new modes of behaviour and analysis.

For me, this is met with a great reluctance on a subconscious level. Perhaps because past pain is known, and being known provides a certain level of preceived comfort. Which is, of course, silly. Pain can never comfort.

So the choice is there. Finally, the opportunity arises to let go of all that I have been through, and apply the learning – pioneering a new way of being in the world.

There is only really one answer. Yes. I will let go of the past. I will let go of negative ‘comfort places’. I will brave a new world in my soul. And the cosmos is there to greet me already.

When rising from the grave is completed, there is simply new living to do.

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